Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Internet Love
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A young girl. 13 years old always wanted love in her life and never knew how to get it. Oh how she wanted to be loved and wanted to love. One day she went in a chat room not looking for a special relationship with someone, just felt like talking. She met a nice young man, told her he was 19 and he was nice to her and she liked him. They exchanged e-mails and kept in contact. Everytime the girl would talk to him and have fun, she only thought as him as a good friend but, one day he started telling her how he really felt about her.
By this time it had been three months they had been talking. She started realizing she had some feelings for him to but, she didn't want to think this was a sex offender or anything so she just told him what she really felt about him and why she wasn't opening up to him. He understood but, was sad. He said he never wanted to hurt her. After a while they stopped talking and she grew sad because she missed him. He said he was caught up with college and work and couldn't be on much. he came back on and she told him that she loved him, she just knew her feelings for him then.
They had a relationship over the internet for a while, they were so happy. Then he stopped talking to her again for a while. He came back on and told her he was gone cuz of school and work again. She understood and was just happy he was back. He said he had to go for a little bit but wanted her to talk to his roommate and become friends with him. So she agreed. They talked and as she talked to him, he seemed so much like her love, he talked the same way and made her feel good the same way. Then she started thinking maybe it was a joke and tat she was talking to her love the whole time and he was just being mean. She was confused. The boy started saying he really liked her and that he thought he loved her. She grew scared now. Her love came back on and started asking if she liked his roommate. She told him he was a very nice boy. He started asking if she would want to date them both, he and his roommate. She started thinking he didn't love her as he led on and didn't care if she was with another man. She told that to him and said she was sad. he told her he loved her so much but, wasn't sure if he was who she wanted.
After that they forgot about the whole thing until the girl got an offline message from the boy and it was saying he was going to take her away from her love because he loved her so much. She told her love and he got upset with his roommate. After that the boy was told he could only be a friend to the girl, he didn't like it but, he wanted to talk to her so he accepted the agreement. They all stopped talking because the boys computers got a virus and the girl never knew that. She grew lonely and thought her love would never talk to her again. So, she sent him a message saying she didn't want to be with him anymore.
The next week while she was on the computer the boy came on and told the girl that her love had been arrested for attempting to have sex with a minor. By this time the girl had already turned 14 years of age. She was so upset. She still loved him. The boy was nice and talked to her and made her feel better. She started realizing the boy wasn't such a bad guy. She grew to realize the man that she loved had lied to her. He never loved her and was just playing a mean joke. Now the boy says he loves the girl and she likes him a lot now but is afraid the same incident will happen again. The boy knows this and accepts it and will wait for her till she knows how she feels or even wants him. She found a better man.
After a couple years she met this boy in person. She never told him how she felt they just talked for a few years. She finally thought it was appropriate at the time they met that she told him she loved him. She did that and he was happy, he thought she never cared for him. But, he was wrong. Then they went out together for a year and they got married and had a baby girl. They were married for 5 years when the girl grew ill while she was pregnant with her second child. She gave birth to a baby boy and died a week after his birth. The baby boy was born sick and died the day after the mother.
This was a girl who was truely loved by her husband and got as she wished. This man was her miracle and she had now been loved and loved too.
The boy raised his daughter, she was raped at age 16 by the man her mother onced loved. The was sent to prison. The daughter gave birth to a baby boy and raised it. The father loved his wife so much that his daughter looked so much like her that he couldn't stand it anymore. He thought he would go crazy and think his daughter is his wife and do horrible things to her that wouldn't be horrible if it was his wife. He killed himself thinking he would be with his wife. But, he never found her. For he had been put in another place.
This was a girl who was truely loved by her husband and got as she wished. This man was her miracle and she had now been loved and loved too.
The boy raised his daughter, she was raped at age 16 by the man her mother onced loved. The was sent to prison. The daughter gave birth to a baby boy and raised it. The father loved his wife so much that his daughter looked so much like her that he couldn't stand it anymore. He thought he would go crazy and think his daughter is his wife and do horrible things to her that wouldn't be horrible if it was his wife. He killed himself thinking he would be with his wife. But, he never found her. For he had been put in another place.
The Net Of Love
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The boy returned home with his heart happily beating. He was tired, since he covered half of Budapest. He’s been anticipating this moment for more than 6 months when his savings will pay for his internet connection and the world will open before him. The often heard, almost slogan came into his mind: “The information superhighway will become the most heavily traveled road of the next century.”
What he felt was not quite happiness, but an emotion far more unique and noble played around his throat. He was proud to have broken out of the gray circle of dusty commonality. With the help of his computer he can even soar to places that have never before appeared on his mind’s horizon.
Ten p.m. The adventure is about to begin. He typed in his nick and passwords and in that instant it felt as though the sparks of his soul had just landed on the stage of night. He was ecstatic when he typed in the first address and the www page actually crackled onto his monitor. “This is fantastic. From now on I can be on the net as long as I want and never be bored. There are millions of pages waiting to be discovered!”
That is exactly how it was, at least for the first month or two. Then he felt that he needed something else. The holes he felt in his soul were not patched by the adventures. He was about to lay aside the magic net when he discovered something. Someone, from among those who were up to now, in the background shadows for our hero simply said: chat.
The fabric that had meant the world had once again became fully charged with excitement. It was true, he never experienced this before. He could talk with people ‘live’, who as himself, sat hunched over a plastic box filled with microchips and typed their questions and answers into tiny windows.
Time, once again, as a heartless thief had taken the fire from his eyes….that is, until suddenly a small blue square flashed. It was a girl who asked for help, and kindness over-flown from her words. It did not take much for the boy’s soul to comprehend perfect harmony. In this impersonal, yet in some ways far more personal world, two souls have touched.
The mirage of unlimited freedom had buckled his heart, into which an unexpected thought moved in: LOVE. He felt love toward someone he met only a few days before, and with whom he was able to exchange merely a few words, even those over a monitor.
Someone he’s never seen. The keyboard revealed virtually nothing, yet the girl, that sweet butterfly, gave away part of her unblemished soul with every stroke of a key to that other heart who, with increasingly concentrated purpose whispered between bit-per-second that word which for humanity became overused, schematic, yet at the same time still represents the paradise of dreams.
Why should we always organize through the cool etiquette of reality? Why does the power appear silly that combined beauty with beast, and the soul with the soulful? Could it be that two people, two such individuals who perhaps never would have met had they not been caught in the elements of modern life, could it be that they are in love with each other?
A mere few hours of in-depth conversation, but the human emotion does not recognize the lifeless combination of time and distance. Emotions refuse to allow themselves to be pressed into the mold of the everyday routine, they don’t give in to the flooding emptiness and forceful attack of lifelessness. Treatherous waters for sure, never knowing who and when will show their real face or when they will hide behind a pleasant mask. But the girl was herself. The boy felt, he knew that his net-shine can not be false, can’t be fake. They met every night spending all possible time together.
This feeling was not present elsewhere: the boy was surrounded by his internet friends, and there was the Girl but still, his soul was afraid. The echo of emptiness, the cold buzz of evil always woke him from his sweetest dreams, fragmenting peaceful moments. These two souls still found each other. Found each other in the fabric of a world-wide net and in such a fashion that would never have been possible in the real world.
The same monitor that used to be seen as the surface for boring characters of a text, at this moment came to represent Life. Real Life. The few currents of electricity, the micrometer’s worth of magic that was constructed by thoughtful, expert hands and the hundreds of ilometers of telephone cable, like some kind of a vein as a warm life supplying vein in the body, tied to each other the boy and the girl, on that stormy, and netted night.
Based on his own experiences written by Thomas L.
Love Hurt Sometimes
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Then, I would never have believed that ten years after we split I would still think of him. The scientist in me is always surprised to rediscover this fact: That a person can truly be broken. Forever. There is no “It was for the best” here; no hard earned wisdom that I am glad I came by. Our split was simply a complete and utter destruction of my person. Life can be that way. Eventually you have to move on; Life, again, compels you. And, after all, I wanted to be happy again. So, you pick up what’s left, reinvent what isn’t and go on.
I think the specter of our breakup has changed me far more than our
relationship. Away from the warm glow of naivete, the memories of us seem trite. It is true that only we assign meaning to our experiences. On paper they mean nothing. We went camping with my family. I snuck clandestine visits to his house after school. He biked out to my house in the middle of the night. We hung out with his friends. He got the chicken pox. We made out in the hallways at school and passed notes. We drove - a lot, we drank some, we smoked pot once. And of course we had sex, my first. We were in going to be married, you see.
Mostly, we had no fear. We talked about ourselves, our dreams, our
childhoods, our parents. Each discussion was a wonderful opening, with no fear of what we might discover or lose. Every fact, every feeling shared was a precious thing to be cherished and savored. Our universe did not understand the possibility of loss.
Eventually, there was another. There always is in these stories. She took him away with a kiss. To explain the complete and utter vacancy of the following months would be difficult. At least there were tangible side effects: the loss of 25 pounds, the withdrawal, the tears, and tears, and tears. To this day I have not replenished them. Only after I rebuilt myself did he want me back. But the me had that had been was lost.
It is more than ten years later. The person he missed hasn’t returned. I don’t think she will. I look for her sometimes, in boxes of old things, but she is never there. The beach is my place now. It is small consolation for a lost self. I know now that our relationship was far from perfect. I know what he has done with his life, and what I have done with mine, and logically, I understand them to be incompatible. What I really miss is the me that didn’t consider such things.
I see him in dreams sometimes. We approach, we talk; we are never
lovers. In my dreams we travel asymptotic paths; never crossing, almost touching, our current lives the tiny infinite gap between us. I like my life now. It makes me happy. But above all, I can never forgive him. It’s not that he was perfect. It’s not that we were perfect. It’s simply that he was my Everything, and he chose to leave.
To Heal A Thousand Wounds
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A married couple came to a counselor for advice. No sooner were they seated, than they began speaking at the same time in a duel of criticisms. When they finally stopped for lack of breath, the counselor suggested that now they tell each other all the good they see in one another.
There was total silence.
Then each was given a ball-point pen and a sheet of paper and told to write down something praiseworthy about the other. Neither of them wrote. They both sat and stared at the paper. After what seemed like a long time, the husband started to write something. At once the wife also began to write--fast and furiously. Finally, the writing stopped.
There was silence again.
The wife pushed her paper over to the watching counselor. He pushed it back signaling that she was to give it directly to her husband. She reluctantly shoved the paper halfway across the table. He took it and in turn, slid his paper towards his wife. Each began to read.
The counselor watched...Soon a tear slid down the cheek of his wife. She crumpled the paper in her fist and held it tight. That proved that she treasured the sudden revelation of good things her husband had expressed about her. The whole atmosphere of the room changed. There was no need for anything to be said. Praise had healed a thousand wounds.
The husband and wife left arm in arm.
Why Dogs Don't Live As Long As People
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Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owner, his wife, and their little boy were all very attached to Belker and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family there were no miracles left for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, the owners told me they thought it would be good for the four-year-old boy to observe the procedure. They felt he could learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. The little boy seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on.
Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.
We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
The little boy, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, "Everybody is born so that they can learn how to live a good life - like loving everybody and being nice, right?" The four-year- old continued, "Well, animals already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."
The Wallet
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As I walked home one freezing day, I stumbled on a wallet someone had lost in the street. I picked it up and looked inside to find some identification so I could call the owner. But the wallet contained only three dollars and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been in there for years. The envelope was worn and the only thing that was legible on it was the return address. I started to open the letter, hoping to find some clue. Then I saw the dateline--1924. The letter had been written almost sixty years ago. It was written in a beautiful feminine handwriting on powder blue stationery with a little flower in the left-hand corner. It was a "Dear John" letter that told the recipient, whose name appeared to be Michael, that the writer could not see him any more because her mother forbade it. Even so, she wrote that she would always love him. It was signed, Hannah. It was a beautiful letter, but there was no way except for the name Michael, that the owner could be identified. Maybe if I called information, the operator could find a phone listing for the address on the envelope. "Operator," I began, "this is an unusual request. I'm trying to find the owner of a wallet that I found. Is there anyway you can tell me if there is a phone number for an address that was on an envelope in the wallet?" She suggested I speak with her supervisor, who hesitated for a moment then said, "Well, there is a phone listing at that address, but I can't give you the number." She said, as a courtesy, she would call that number, explain my story and would ask them if they wanted her to connect me. I waited a few minutes and then she was back on the line. "I have a party who will speak with you." I asked the woman on the other end of the line if she knew anyone by the name of Hannah. She gasped, "Oh! We bought this house from a family who had a daughter named Hannah. But that was 30 years ago!" "Would you know where that family could be located now?" I asked. "I remember that Hannah had to place her mother in a nursing home some years ago," the woman said. "Maybe if you got in touch with them they might be able to track down the daughter." She gave me the name of the nursing home and I called the number. They told me the old lady had passed away some years ago but they did have a phone number for where they thought the daughter might be living. I thanked them and phoned. The woman who answered explained that Hannah herself was now living in a nursing home. This whole thing was stupid, I thought to myself. Why was I making such a big deal over finding the owner of a wallet that had only three dollars and a letter that was almost 60 years old? Nevertheless, I called the nursing home in which Hannah was supposed to be living and the man who answered the phone told me, "Yes, Hannah is staying with us. " Even though it was already 10 p.m., I asked if I could come by to see her. "Well," he said hesitatingly, "if you want to take a chance, she might be in the day room watching television." I thanked him and drove over to the nursing home. The night nurse and a guard greeted me at the door. We went up to the third floor of the large building. In the day room, the nurse introduced me to Hannah. She was a sweet, silver-haired old timer with a warm smile and a twinkle in her eye. I told her about finding the wallet and showed her the letter. The second she saw the powder blue envelope with that little flower on the left, she took a deep breath and said, "Young man, this letter was the last contact I ever had with Michael." She looked away for a moment deep in thought and then said Softly, "I loved him very much. But I was only 16 at the time and my mother felt I was too young. Oh, he was so handsome. He looked like Sean Connery, the actor." "Yes," she continued. "Michael Goldstein was a wonderful person. If you should find him, tell him I think of him often. And," she hesitated for a moment, almost biting her lip, "tell him I still love him. You know," she said smiling as tears began to well up in her eyes, "I never did marry. I guess no one ever matched up to Michael..." I thanked Hannah and said goodbye. I took the elevator to the first floor and as I stood by the door, the guard there asked, "Was the old lady able to help you?" I told him she had given me a lead. "At least I have a last name. But I think I'll let it go for a while. I spent almost the whole day trying to find the owner of this wallet." I had taken out the wallet, which was a simple brown leather case with red lacing on the side. When the guard saw it, he said, "Hey, wait a minute! That's Mr. Goldstein's wallet. I'd know it anywhere with that bright red lacing. He's always losing that wallet. I must have found it in the halls at least three times." "Who's Mr. Goldstein?" I asked as my hand began to shake. "He's one of the old timers on the 8th floor. That's Mike Goldstein's wallet for sure. He must have lost it on one of his walks." I thanked the guard and quickly ran back to the nurse's office. I told her what the guard had said. We went back to the elevator and got on. I prayed that Mr. Goldstein would be up. On the eighth floor, the floor nurse said, "I think he's still in the day room. He likes to read at night. He's a darling old man." We went to the only room that had any lights on and there was a man reading a book. The nurse went over to him and asked if he had lost his wallet. Mr. Goldstein looked up with surprise, put his hand in his back pocket and said, "Oh, it is missing!" "This kind gentleman found a wallet and we wondered if it could be yours?" I handed Mr. Goldstein the wallet and the second he saw it, he smiled with relief and said, "Yes, that's it! It must have dropped out of my pocket this afternoon. I want to give you a reward." "No, thank you," I said. "But I have to tell you something. I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the wallet." The smile on his face suddenly disappeared. "You read that letter?" "Not only did I read it, I think I know where Hannah is." He suddenly grew pale. "Hannah? You know where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty as she was? Please, please tell me," he begged. "She's fine...just as pretty as when you knew her." I said softly. The old man smiled with anticipation and asked, "Could you tell me where she is? I want to call her tomorrow." He grabbed my hand and said, "You know something, mister, I was so in love with that girl that when that letter came, my life literally ended. I never married. I guess I've always loved her. " "Mr. Goldstein," I said, "Come with me." We took the elevator down to the third floor. The hallways were darkened and only one or two little night-lights lit our way to the day room where Hannah was sitting alone watching the television. The nurse walked over to her. "Hannah," she said softly, pointing to Michael, who was waiting with me in the doorway. "Do you know this man?" She adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn't say a word. Michael said softly, almost in a whisper, "Hannah, it's Michael. Do you remember me?" She gasped, "Michael! I don't believe it! Michael! It's you! My Michael!" He walked slowly towards her and they embraced. The nurse and I left with tears streaming down our faces. "See," I said. "See how the Good Lord works! If it's meant to be, it will be." About three weeks later I got a call at my office from the nursing home. "Can you break away on Sunday to attend a wedding? Michael and Hannah are going to tie the knot!" It was a beautiful wedding with all the people at the nursing home dressed up to join in the celebration. Hannah wore a light beige dress and looked beautiful. Michael wore a dark blue suit and stood tall. They made me their best man. The hospital gave them their own room and if you ever wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a 79-year-old groom acting like two teenagers, you had to see this couple. A perfect ending for a love affair that had lasted nearly 60 years. | |
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A Brother's Love
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Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They found out that the new baby was going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister in mommy's tummy he was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her.
The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an active member of The Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown, Tennessee.
In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, every three.. every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor. Would a C-section be required? finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. But she was in very serious condition. With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee.
The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatrician had to tell the parents, "There is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst." Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral. Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister.
"I want to sing to her," he kept saying. Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over. Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive care, Karen decided to take Michael whether they liked it or not! If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive. She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He looked like a walking laundry basket. But the head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed, "Get that kid out here now! No children are allowed."
The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. "He is not leaving until he sings to his sister!"
Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing. In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray ---" Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond. The pulse rate began to calm down and become steady.
"Keep on singing, Michael," encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes. "You never know, dear, how much I love you, Please don't take my sunshine away". As Michael sang to his sister, the baby's ragged, strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr.
"Keep on singing, sweetheart!!!"
"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. . . Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her. "Keep on singing, Michael." Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed.
"You are my sunshine, my only Sunshine, please don't, take my sunshine away..."
The next day...the very next day...the little girl was well enough to go home! Woman's Day Magazine called it "The Miracle of a Brother's Song." The medical staff just called it a miracle. Karen called it a miracle of God's love!
NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. LOVE IS SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL.
Amazing True Love Story
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The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in urban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work.
They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve. They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc. and on Dec. 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.
On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days. On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sunk when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 6 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home.
On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, hand-made, ivory colored, crochet tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross-embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.
By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc. to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area. Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet.
"Pastor," she asked, "Where did you get that tablecloth?" The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crochet into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria. The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and here husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. She was captured, sent to prison and never saw her husband or her home again.
The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home. That was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.
What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return. One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood, continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he was not leaving.
The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike? He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for here safety, and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a concentration camp. He never saw his wife or his home again for all the 35 years in between.
The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and the pastor saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.
Disseminated by Pastor Rob Reid
If You Love Her Enough
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My friend John always has something to tell me. He knows so much that young men have to have older and more worldly wise men to tell them. For instance who to trust, how to care for others, and how to live life to the fullest.
Recently, John lost his wife Janet. For eight years she fought against cancer, but in the end her sickness had the last word.
One day John took out a folded piece of paper from his wallet. He had found it, so he told me, when he tidied up some drawers at home. It was a small love letter Janet had written. The note could look like a school girl's scrawls about her dream guy. All that was missing was a drawing of a heart with the names John and Janet written in it. But the small letter was written by a woman who had had seven children; a woman who fought for her life and who probably only had a few months left to live.
It was also a beautiful recipe for how to keep a marriage together.
Janet's description of her husband begins thus: "Loved me. Took care of me. Worried about me."
Even though John always had a ready answer, he never joked about cancer apparently. Sometimes he came home in the evening to find Janet in the middle of one of those depressions cancer patients so often get. In no time he got her into the car and drove her to her favourite restaurant.
He showed consideration for her, and she knew it. You cannot hide something for someone who knows better.
"Helped me when I was ill," the next line reads. Perhaps Janet wrote this while the cancer was in one of the horrible and wonderful lulls. Where everything is -- almost -- as it used to be, before the sickness broke out, and where it doesn't hurt to hope that everything is over, maybe forever.
"Forgave me a lot."
"Stood by my side."
And a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive criticism as a kind of sacred duty: "Always praising."
"Made sure I had everything I needed," she goes on to write.
After that she has turned over the paper and added: "Warmth. Humour. Kindness. Thoughtfulness." And then she writes about the husband she has lived with and loved the most of her life: "Always there for me when I needed you."
The last words she wrote sum up all the others. I can see her for me where she adds thoughtfully: "Good friend."
I stand beside John now, and cannot even pretend to know how it feels to lose someone who is as close to me as Janet was to him. I need to hear what he has to say much more than he needs to talk.
"John," I ask. "How do you stick together with someone through 38 years -- not to mention the sickness? How do I know if I can bear to stand by my wife's side if she becomes sick one day?"
"You can," he says quietly. "If you love her enough, you can."
Lovely Coincidence
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In 1945, there was a young boy of 14 in a concentration camp. He was tall, thin but had a bright smile. Every day, a young girl came by on the other side of the fence. She noticed the boy and asked him if he spoke Polish, and he said yes. She said he'd looked hungry, and he said he was. She then reached in her pocket and gave him her apple. He thanked her and she went on her way. The next day, she came by again, bringing with her another apple which she gave him. Each day, she walked by the outside of the fence, hoping to see him, and when she did, she happily handed him an apple in exchange for conversation.
One day, he told her not to come by anymore. He told her he was being shipped to another concentration camp. As he walked away with tears streaming down his face, he wondered if he'd ever see her again. She was the only kind soul he'd seen across the fence.
He made it out of the concentration camp, and immigrated to America. In 1957, his friends had fixed him up on a blind date. He had no idea who the woman was. He picked her up, and during dinner began talking of Poland and the concentration camp. She said she was in Poland at that time. She said she used to talk to a boy and gave him apples daily. He asked if this boy was tall, skinny and if he had told her that she shouldn't come back because he was leaving. She said yes.
It was her, the young girl who came by every day to give him apples. After 12 years, after the war and in another country.....they had met again. What are the odds? He proposed to her on that very night and told her he'd never again let her go. They are still happily married today.
Now that, my friends, is a love story. Miracles do happen, and there is a greater force at work in our lives.
One day, he told her not to come by anymore. He told her he was being shipped to another concentration camp. As he walked away with tears streaming down his face, he wondered if he'd ever see her again. She was the only kind soul he'd seen across the fence.
He made it out of the concentration camp, and immigrated to America. In 1957, his friends had fixed him up on a blind date. He had no idea who the woman was. He picked her up, and during dinner began talking of Poland and the concentration camp. She said she was in Poland at that time. She said she used to talk to a boy and gave him apples daily. He asked if this boy was tall, skinny and if he had told her that she shouldn't come back because he was leaving. She said yes.
It was her, the young girl who came by every day to give him apples. After 12 years, after the war and in another country.....they had met again. What are the odds? He proposed to her on that very night and told her he'd never again let her go. They are still happily married today.
Now that, my friends, is a love story. Miracles do happen, and there is a greater force at work in our lives.
True Story Of Courage And Love
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Walking down a path through some woods in Georgia, I saw a water puddle ahead on the path. I angled my direction to go around it on the part of the path that wasn't covered by water and mud. As I reached the puddle, I was suddenly attacked! Yet I did nothing for the attack was so unpredictable and from a source so totally unexpected. I was startled as well as unhurt, despite having been struck four or five times already. I backed up a foot and my attacker stopped attacking me. Instead of attacking more, he hovered in the air on graceful butterfly wings in front of me. Had I been hurt I wouldn't have found it amusing, but I was unhurt, it was funny, and I was laughing. After all, I was being attacked by a butterfly!
Having stopped laughing, I took a step forward. My attacker rushed me again. He rammed me in the chest with his head and body, striking me over and over again with all his might, still to no avail. For a second time, I retreated a step while my attacker relented in his attack. Yet again, I tried moving forward. My attacker charged me again. I was rammed in the chest over and over again. I wasn't sure what to do, other than to retreat a third time. After all, it's just not everyday that one is attacked by a butterfly. This time, though, I stepped back several paces to look the situation over. My attacker moved back as well to land on the ground. That's when I discovered why my attacker was charging me only moments earlier. He had a mate and she was dying. She was beside the puddle where he landed.
Sitting close beside her, he opened and closed his wings as if to fan her. I could only admire the love and courage of that butterfly in his concern for his mate. He had taken it upon himself to attack me for his mate's sake, even though she was clearly dying and I was so large. He did so just to give her those extra few precious moments of life, should I have been careless enough to step on her. Now I knew why and what he was fighting for. There was really only one option left for me. I carefully made my way around the puddle to the other side of the path, though it was only inches wide and extremely muddy. His courage in attacking something thousands of times larger and heavier than himself just for his mate's safety justified it. I couldn't do anything other than reward him by walking on the more difficult side of the puddle. He had truly earned those moments to be with her, undisturbed.
I left them in peace for those last few moments, cleaning the mud from my boots when I later reached my car.
Since then, I've always tried to remember the courage of that butterfly whenever I see huge obstacles facing me. I use that butterfly's courage as an inspiration and to remind myself that good things are worth fighting for.
Having stopped laughing, I took a step forward. My attacker rushed me again. He rammed me in the chest with his head and body, striking me over and over again with all his might, still to no avail. For a second time, I retreated a step while my attacker relented in his attack. Yet again, I tried moving forward. My attacker charged me again. I was rammed in the chest over and over again. I wasn't sure what to do, other than to retreat a third time. After all, it's just not everyday that one is attacked by a butterfly. This time, though, I stepped back several paces to look the situation over. My attacker moved back as well to land on the ground. That's when I discovered why my attacker was charging me only moments earlier. He had a mate and she was dying. She was beside the puddle where he landed.
Sitting close beside her, he opened and closed his wings as if to fan her. I could only admire the love and courage of that butterfly in his concern for his mate. He had taken it upon himself to attack me for his mate's sake, even though she was clearly dying and I was so large. He did so just to give her those extra few precious moments of life, should I have been careless enough to step on her. Now I knew why and what he was fighting for. There was really only one option left for me. I carefully made my way around the puddle to the other side of the path, though it was only inches wide and extremely muddy. His courage in attacking something thousands of times larger and heavier than himself just for his mate's safety justified it. I couldn't do anything other than reward him by walking on the more difficult side of the puddle. He had truly earned those moments to be with her, undisturbed.
I left them in peace for those last few moments, cleaning the mud from my boots when I later reached my car.
Since then, I've always tried to remember the courage of that butterfly whenever I see huge obstacles facing me. I use that butterfly's courage as an inspiration and to remind myself that good things are worth fighting for.
Miss Of Love
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The miss of a lost love can darken the soul. Wishing to see her in the moonlight or day can cause pain and it does in my heart. Her walk was of a God and her eyes were of the dove. Lost am I in this world without her. Her touch her sound the kiss of forever and the words that came to be.
She died in my arms, and the pain will never go away. Some nights I cry praying for her to be here, but only alone I come to be. If only someone knew how the pain burns like fire slowly burning the heart. Tears are the only memory of her and her smile.
No cure could be found and it was only up to God's time. So many things I still wanted to say to her and so much to do with so little time. Like to take a walk through a park and hold hands as the birds fly free with the wind or to make love on a beach as the waves crash to the shore. She was my true love and to see her go away kills my soul.
I did all I could to make her time happy, we talk about memories and stories, went to the tree outside our house were I asked her to marry me, but most of the time I just watched her get sicker and sicker and on the day of her death I blew out the candle of our dreams never to light it again.
Wherever you are I'll always be here waiting for the day we can once meet again. For when the day comes tears of the past will be gone and tears of the future will lead the way.
She died in my arms, and the pain will never go away. Some nights I cry praying for her to be here, but only alone I come to be. If only someone knew how the pain burns like fire slowly burning the heart. Tears are the only memory of her and her smile.
No cure could be found and it was only up to God's time. So many things I still wanted to say to her and so much to do with so little time. Like to take a walk through a park and hold hands as the birds fly free with the wind or to make love on a beach as the waves crash to the shore. She was my true love and to see her go away kills my soul.
I did all I could to make her time happy, we talk about memories and stories, went to the tree outside our house were I asked her to marry me, but most of the time I just watched her get sicker and sicker and on the day of her death I blew out the candle of our dreams never to light it again.
Wherever you are I'll always be here waiting for the day we can once meet again. For when the day comes tears of the past will be gone and tears of the future will lead the way.
Do It Today!
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When I was superintendent of schools in Palo Alto, California, Polly Tyner, the president of our board of trustees, wrote a letter that was printed in the Palo Alto Times. Polly's son, Jim, had great difficulty in school. He was classified as educationally handicapped and required a great deal of patience on the part of his parents and teachers. But Jim was a happy kid with a great smile that lit up the room. His parents acknowledged his academic difficulties, but always tried to help him see his strengths so that he could walk with pride. Shortly after Jim finished high school, he was killed in a motorcycle accident. After his death, his mother submitted this letter to the newspaper.
Today we buried our 20-year-old son. He was killed instantly in a motorcycle accident on Friday night. How I wish I had known when I talked to him last that it would be the last time. If I had only known I would have said, "Jim, I love you and I'm so very proud of you."
I would have taken the time to count the many blessings he brought to the lives of the many who loved him. I would have taken time to appreciate his beautiful smile, the sound of his laughter, his genuine love of people.
When you put all the good attributes on the scale and you try to balance all the irritating traits such as the radio which was always too loud, the haircut that wasn't to our liking, the dirty socks under the bed, etc., the irritations don't amount to much.
I won't get another chance to tell my son all I would have wanted him to hear, but, other parents, you do have a chance. Tell your young people what you would want them to hear if you knew it would be your last conversation. The last time I talked to Jim was the day he died. He called me to say, "Hi, Mom! I just called to say I love you. Got to go to work. Bye." He gave me something to treasure forever.
If there is any purpose at all to Jim's death, maybe it is to make others appreciate more of life and to have people, especially families, take the time to let each other know just how much we care.
You may never have another chance. Do it today!
Broken Promises
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Married 11 years. This is my one and only love. He proposed to me on a playground. This was the man who taught me the meaning of love. We were a part of what God truly meant to be as husband and wife. My best friend, an aura of comfort as I held him in my arms. Every physical and spiritual fulfillment in a man I ever wanted. Not once did I want anyone else. No one could take his place.
We were to renew our vows. I practiced for months, my new vows-I would repeat them in the car, or in the grocery store silently. I could not wait to begin our next years with good histories, and good hearts. To show him in renewed vows how over many years, ups and downs, I held solid in my devotion.
And then promises were broken.
At first I focused mainly on how I couldn't even breathe without him. A pattern of hurtful words, plans never made and even an affair. I endured pulling him back from someone else's arms, his eyes so sincere with lies, his words so very melodical and spellbinding. I listened believing every word he said. I crushed every time he entered a room. I could not see or believe what was going on. No Christmas presents, no birthday presents, no anniversary plans carried through, talking to me like I was a stranger, a list too long to share.
I often asked myself, 'What did I do?' or 'Why did he do this?' It took a while for me to figure this out. He had changed. I did not change. My love was still strong. I could battle all external things, but not the man himself.
His last promise he made was that he was going to come back to me and we would live together always, never to be apart, grow old together. He told me he cried when he thought of what a mistake it was he said by telling me goodbye two days after Christmas. Then just weeks ago he tells me that his job has become more important and he knows I have a job that I finally have after years of looking. When a man picks a job over his wife...well it's time to leave. But that's not the worst promise broken.
The one thing I asked him not to break was that I asked him not to put me through any more pain. This was my final outcome.
I took the final step and decided to walk away. I am ready now. He has lost the one thing he should have never let go of. I think I deserve better. I am the one who has no guilt, or remorse. And it takes my own strength to break the chains I put on myself by loving a man and forgetting to respect myself.
There is strength in the power of goodbye, it all begins with
We were to renew our vows. I practiced for months, my new vows-I would repeat them in the car, or in the grocery store silently. I could not wait to begin our next years with good histories, and good hearts. To show him in renewed vows how over many years, ups and downs, I held solid in my devotion.
And then promises were broken.
At first I focused mainly on how I couldn't even breathe without him. A pattern of hurtful words, plans never made and even an affair. I endured pulling him back from someone else's arms, his eyes so sincere with lies, his words so very melodical and spellbinding. I listened believing every word he said. I crushed every time he entered a room. I could not see or believe what was going on. No Christmas presents, no birthday presents, no anniversary plans carried through, talking to me like I was a stranger, a list too long to share.
I often asked myself, 'What did I do?' or 'Why did he do this?' It took a while for me to figure this out. He had changed. I did not change. My love was still strong. I could battle all external things, but not the man himself.
His last promise he made was that he was going to come back to me and we would live together always, never to be apart, grow old together. He told me he cried when he thought of what a mistake it was he said by telling me goodbye two days after Christmas. Then just weeks ago he tells me that his job has become more important and he knows I have a job that I finally have after years of looking. When a man picks a job over his wife...well it's time to leave. But that's not the worst promise broken.
The one thing I asked him not to break was that I asked him not to put me through any more pain. This was my final outcome.
I took the final step and decided to walk away. I am ready now. He has lost the one thing he should have never let go of. I think I deserve better. I am the one who has no guilt, or remorse. And it takes my own strength to break the chains I put on myself by loving a man and forgetting to respect myself.
There is strength in the power of goodbye, it all begins with
A Beautiful Rose That Has Withered Away
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She was sitting there. in the front row of the classroom.. She was the hyperactive chatty gal that I would love to loathe...
At first sight, there was simply nothing extraordinary about her. I was annoyed at her seemingly uncontrollable mischievous personality. But then again, I looked beyond that and recognized her warm and mature personality... And that her large brown eyes enthralled me....Captivating me with her sweet and jovial smile...
I fell in love with her........
There was only one thing I can... and must... do... I gotta let her know how I feel.. I did, and that's the start of a wonderful, forever lasting love... or at least that's what I thought.
Those were the happiest times of my life. I would call her numerous times a day..... Life for me was heavenly. I had always dreamt of loving my other significant half to the max, even when I was a young child. This was a dream come true for me. She was almost the perfect girl I had dreamt about before. She loved me as much as I love her (I still do...). I would embrace her tightly to feel her warmth and kiss softly on her forehead. I long to be with her forever. Words alone could not describe the blissful times I had with her. Her distinctive voice would just banish my blues away. We never squabbled before. Life is truly a heaven to experience such a true love. For me, true love is always 0.1% lust, 0.9% attraction and 99.0% appreciation. I had always appreciated her and so did she.
Those times went on for 2 years. But then, the inevitable happened. She became aloof, unresponsive and her cheerful disposition had diminished. "What happened to her"? I asked myself...Gradually, she lessen her phone calls to me. I tried coaxing her to talk to me but to no avail. Then, after weeks of coaxing, she finally told me that she had changed (she didn't know why, it just came all of a sudden). She told me that our characters do not match and sad to say that we should not continue the relationship. She implied that I'm a person who does not care much about the world around me (which is quite true as I don't trust friends and I'm quite a loner) She also said that there are small little things that also add up to her unhappiness. I was devastated... I didn't know that she felt that way all this time... Well, I knew about my weaknesses but I thought that she accepted them. I cried and pleaded her to stay on with me but to no avail as it was only the most sensible thing for a matured person (such as herself) to do. She said that its better for us to separate rather than go deeper into an unhappy relationship than is doomed to failure (which is, sad to say, true). I am still in a deep depressed state. Its been 4 months since she broke up with me...
How I hope to be with her again. Its actually not her fault. She was doing the only sensible thing (to break up before we go any deeper). Sometimes, I feel like life's fragile.....
A beautiful thing like love can be ended abruptly Feels like a precious thing had been taken away from me...
Just like a beautiful rose that withered away....
Where Is The Love?
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Imagine for a second that a young couple so deep in love that they can't see beyond each other's eyes, plan out not only a pending wedding but as well what will be a blueprint for the rest of their lives together.
Next imagine that for one night all is forgotten. It's funny how your world can turn upside down in an instant either for good or the bad. The ironic thing is that she wound up doing both to me. Now I have some simple philosophies about relationships and one of them just seems to be about trust.
"I will always trust you until you give me a reason not to." She said that there was going to be a girl's nite out at a local club and I told her I was fine with it because she needed it (We were both going through some stress at the time). After finding out that she had already decided not to come back till around 3 in the morning, I decided to make plans for myself so as I wouldn't be left alone all night. I went to the other side of town to hang out with my best friend whom I haven't seen for a long while. I planned everything out perfectly so that I would be at home right around 3 about the same time as her. Well as the night progressed I was starting to get a little dependant on her call. I was waiting to hear how here night was going or for her to as how my night was going...... no call at all.
Right around 2 I decided to call her it was no surprise that she was totally wasted but thanks to her friend from work she was able to get home safely. I rushed to get back home but was only able to make it by 3 like I had intended. As I entered our apartment I found her boots lying in the living room and also found her sound asleep in the room. Now here is the part where I do admit that I could be wrong. As I was setting up to go to sleep as well, I checked her phone and her text messages only to find that she had sent various messages to someone named Anna. By my own knowledge Anna is a female name but these messages weren't made out on that fact. It seemed that she was sending messages to someone named Ricky which I can only think was her ex-boyfriend before I came along a year ago. You also have to keep in mind, that was the last piece of the puzzle that confirmed my suspicions. On earlier occasions she would step out of a room to make a call, became very private about the things she did when I wasn't around, and to top it all off was acting very separated towards me. I think that if it looks like shit, smells like shit, then 10 times out of 10 it is shit. My only assumption was that she is cheating on me. Now here I am, the following day pouring my heart out to anyone that will listen. Everything I have in life is in her. My family is in another state, we've invested so much into each other, and basically outside of this I have nothing. Just in case your wondering if i'm making myself look like a saint, i'm gonna give you some quick details about myself. I'm not a drinker, or a smoker. I'm from what people tell me funny, caring, and at sometimes out going. I have never done anything to harm her and have treated her like a queen. I guess I am a saint after all.
any advice?
I guess with everything in life we are just going to wait and see the outcome. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story.
Next imagine that for one night all is forgotten. It's funny how your world can turn upside down in an instant either for good or the bad. The ironic thing is that she wound up doing both to me. Now I have some simple philosophies about relationships and one of them just seems to be about trust.
"I will always trust you until you give me a reason not to." She said that there was going to be a girl's nite out at a local club and I told her I was fine with it because she needed it (We were both going through some stress at the time). After finding out that she had already decided not to come back till around 3 in the morning, I decided to make plans for myself so as I wouldn't be left alone all night. I went to the other side of town to hang out with my best friend whom I haven't seen for a long while. I planned everything out perfectly so that I would be at home right around 3 about the same time as her. Well as the night progressed I was starting to get a little dependant on her call. I was waiting to hear how here night was going or for her to as how my night was going...... no call at all.
Right around 2 I decided to call her it was no surprise that she was totally wasted but thanks to her friend from work she was able to get home safely. I rushed to get back home but was only able to make it by 3 like I had intended. As I entered our apartment I found her boots lying in the living room and also found her sound asleep in the room. Now here is the part where I do admit that I could be wrong. As I was setting up to go to sleep as well, I checked her phone and her text messages only to find that she had sent various messages to someone named Anna. By my own knowledge Anna is a female name but these messages weren't made out on that fact. It seemed that she was sending messages to someone named Ricky which I can only think was her ex-boyfriend before I came along a year ago. You also have to keep in mind, that was the last piece of the puzzle that confirmed my suspicions. On earlier occasions she would step out of a room to make a call, became very private about the things she did when I wasn't around, and to top it all off was acting very separated towards me. I think that if it looks like shit, smells like shit, then 10 times out of 10 it is shit. My only assumption was that she is cheating on me. Now here I am, the following day pouring my heart out to anyone that will listen. Everything I have in life is in her. My family is in another state, we've invested so much into each other, and basically outside of this I have nothing. Just in case your wondering if i'm making myself look like a saint, i'm gonna give you some quick details about myself. I'm not a drinker, or a smoker. I'm from what people tell me funny, caring, and at sometimes out going. I have never done anything to harm her and have treated her like a queen. I guess I am a saint after all.
any advice?
I guess with everything in life we are just going to wait and see the outcome. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story.
Crushed
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It was last year when I met him during a school carnival. I was walking with my friend into the school of business when she bumped into her classmates. I didn't know what actually happened but I remembered I was staring at this particular guy in the group. From that day onwards, he never left my mind.
After months of consideration, I finally took the first step. I wrote a letter to him confessing I actually was attracted by him and if we could be friends. I got my friend to pass him the letter and we started being friends.
At first, he didn't know what I looked like as he didn't remember seeing me. One day, my friend tricked me into going to her computer lab. He was there. It was then we first met and spoke. He shook my hand and introduced himself. Ever since then, I started seeing more of him.
I started sending him messages to his cell phone daily. It could be a daily good-night message or just to tell him to take care. He would usually reply to my messages. One day, after the exams, I finally asked him out. We went to eat dinner and after that, we went back to school at night and sat at the exit staircase staring at the stars, drinking and chatting. It was then I felt that I was really in love with this guy. He sent me home later. From that day on, I could not get him out of my mind.
Somehow, I started seeing him quite often. He works at Starbucks so I would go there to study and hang out. Hanging out was just an excuse for me to see him. We would bump into each other in school daily and smile and say Hi. Sometimes, we would joke around and just chat.
During Christmas, I bought a gift for him. It took me some time to actually pass it to him. He was appreciative. In return, he gave me a wallet. At first, I was joyful. Then, I found out he gave my friend a Christmas present too when she hadn't bought him anything. But that didn't mean anything to me. Receiving a gift from him was all I could think of.
Months later, after our second trip to the movies we started seeing each other less and the messages became less. After 4 months, I finally got my friend to ask whether he liked me or he knew my feelings for him. All the while, she wanted to ask him that but I wasn't ready to face the truth. Deep down in my heart, I actually knew the answer but I couldn't face up to reality. After 4 months, I felt I was ready.
I got my answer. He rejected me. He didn't like me. However, my friend didn't tell me that. Instead, she got another friend to tell me the answer over the phone. I kept silent and tears started falling from my eyes. The tears just kept falling. It didn't stop.
My heart was shattered. It left a scar behind. I no longer can love. I no longer can face him. To me, love was a mistake. But I would never regret ever loving him.
After months of consideration, I finally took the first step. I wrote a letter to him confessing I actually was attracted by him and if we could be friends. I got my friend to pass him the letter and we started being friends.
At first, he didn't know what I looked like as he didn't remember seeing me. One day, my friend tricked me into going to her computer lab. He was there. It was then we first met and spoke. He shook my hand and introduced himself. Ever since then, I started seeing more of him.
I started sending him messages to his cell phone daily. It could be a daily good-night message or just to tell him to take care. He would usually reply to my messages. One day, after the exams, I finally asked him out. We went to eat dinner and after that, we went back to school at night and sat at the exit staircase staring at the stars, drinking and chatting. It was then I felt that I was really in love with this guy. He sent me home later. From that day on, I could not get him out of my mind.
Somehow, I started seeing him quite often. He works at Starbucks so I would go there to study and hang out. Hanging out was just an excuse for me to see him. We would bump into each other in school daily and smile and say Hi. Sometimes, we would joke around and just chat.
During Christmas, I bought a gift for him. It took me some time to actually pass it to him. He was appreciative. In return, he gave me a wallet. At first, I was joyful. Then, I found out he gave my friend a Christmas present too when she hadn't bought him anything. But that didn't mean anything to me. Receiving a gift from him was all I could think of.
Months later, after our second trip to the movies we started seeing each other less and the messages became less. After 4 months, I finally got my friend to ask whether he liked me or he knew my feelings for him. All the while, she wanted to ask him that but I wasn't ready to face the truth. Deep down in my heart, I actually knew the answer but I couldn't face up to reality. After 4 months, I felt I was ready.
I got my answer. He rejected me. He didn't like me. However, my friend didn't tell me that. Instead, she got another friend to tell me the answer over the phone. I kept silent and tears started falling from my eyes. The tears just kept falling. It didn't stop.
My heart was shattered. It left a scar behind. I no longer can love. I no longer can face him. To me, love was a mistake. But I would never regret ever loving him.
Something I Got Off The Internet
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He came into my life unexpectedly. Sorta like a movie, you know, the kind that leaves you with little tears about to fall from your eyes. A huge lump in your throat, and inspiration. A drive that makes you so sure you will find love out there. (Wishful thinking?)
We met on the internet. I can already hear the peanut gallery's snide remarks and deftly dealt blows to my intelligence, my morals, my thoughts. After all, I must be crazy, and he must be an axe murderer right? I must be desperate, after all, to fall in love with a man over the internet. No, none of the above. (You pessimists just have to chalk this one up to a loss!) He is the most caring, compassionate man I have ever met. And I can say that with all honesty, with all truths freely tossed into the lion's den for approval.
At first, I wasn't expecting it to happen. Wasn't looking for it. But I wasn't against it. I was open to it sub-consciously I suppose. Searching for that fairy tale somewhere, my internal thoughts caught up with the rest of science and dove into technology as well. I had heard so much about it happening to real life people like me, from places in the world I had never heard of, but it happened! I had talked to him on and off through way of chat rooms for about a year. In this year, I didn't get to know him really. Except the fact that he seemed like a really nice guy. He intrigued me. Maybe it was this portal into another realm we were both opening up. Making it harder to not talk. It's all you can do, just type out your inner most thoughts, and delight in the very thought of making a 'friend' online.
We started talking, and I wanted to know more about him. I got excited when I saw his name in my e-mail inbox. Even happier I was when replying to him. I was pouring myself out to this stranger, and he was responding. Giving of himself more and more each time he hit Send, as was I.
In this chat room, we had 'mutual friends'. Other people that regularly chatted and with whom shared a bond with us. We knew each other's names, who had kids, each other's love lives, or lack thereof, and who was allergic to what. A kinship was born in this chat room, but all of that was irrelevant as I asked this other chatter, "What's his phone number?" I asked, he gave. I called him that night.
Our phone conversation was great. I was attracted immediately by his voice. He was feeling the same way about mine. But there had to be more, right? There just has to be! I was thirsting for more information from him. I simply wanted to know everything about this man. We had seen each other's pictures already, sent through the wonderful e-mail services. Our eyes glanced upon each other's pictures and saw a promising something there. We liked each other at this point. Promises to call each other were made, and more e-mails were sent.
Finally, we fell in love. Just like that. Fell. Head over heels. And I can say this, without hesitation, that I fall in love with this man more and more every day. When I hear his voice, BAM, I fall in love again. When I look into his eyes, BAM, I'm in love again. Anything this man does equates to pure, sweetened love for me. Of course, there's a loop hole. Isn't there always? We are long distance. I represent the East Coast, and he the West. Was it possible, is it possible? Yes and yes. We talked endlessly about this. Tip toed around the fact that it would be hard, but took into the account that it wouldn't be easy. Pored over every obstacle that would stand in our way, and would eventually test us and our strength, had we gotten together.
We talked about our wants, our needs, our desires at this time. What we wanted from each other, and how we could go about it. We knew all we wanted was to be together, but could we handle it? Were we ready to take on something so rough? We have. Overcoming the distance, the money issues, the conversation issues, well, it hasn't been easy. But we don't think any relationship is a bed of roses. We take the good, and the bad, and we still love each other.
Through this love we have grown stronger. We have learned from each other. We have taken our relationship beyond the levels of just something we got 'off the internet'.
Meeting was like a dream. I was absolutely on pins and needles. Seeing him though, only reinstated my previous feelings I had felt for him, and made them that much stronger. Love at first sight? Oh, it happened alright. We have shared so many times together. His presence completes me. The lost piece to my puzzle. The one thing that I can hold onto in this world. The one relationship I have ever felt love from. He loves me. Plain and simple. With my flaws and all. He sees the good in me, and I can see it in him. I have found my true connection. Without him, I'd simply be searching for something that couldn't give me what he gives me. It would only be false, and I know this to be of truth, because for once in my life, my heart feels what my head does, and their both in sync. I'm loving every minute of it.
When you hear the proverbial warnings of finding anything reliable on the internet, scoff away the remarks. It can happen, it has happened. When you hear the woes of love tales gone sour, just know that love is alive. It is all around us, and it will find you when you least expect it. And in the last place you would ever think of finding it.
We met on the internet. I can already hear the peanut gallery's snide remarks and deftly dealt blows to my intelligence, my morals, my thoughts. After all, I must be crazy, and he must be an axe murderer right? I must be desperate, after all, to fall in love with a man over the internet. No, none of the above. (You pessimists just have to chalk this one up to a loss!) He is the most caring, compassionate man I have ever met. And I can say that with all honesty, with all truths freely tossed into the lion's den for approval.
At first, I wasn't expecting it to happen. Wasn't looking for it. But I wasn't against it. I was open to it sub-consciously I suppose. Searching for that fairy tale somewhere, my internal thoughts caught up with the rest of science and dove into technology as well. I had heard so much about it happening to real life people like me, from places in the world I had never heard of, but it happened! I had talked to him on and off through way of chat rooms for about a year. In this year, I didn't get to know him really. Except the fact that he seemed like a really nice guy. He intrigued me. Maybe it was this portal into another realm we were both opening up. Making it harder to not talk. It's all you can do, just type out your inner most thoughts, and delight in the very thought of making a 'friend' online.
We started talking, and I wanted to know more about him. I got excited when I saw his name in my e-mail inbox. Even happier I was when replying to him. I was pouring myself out to this stranger, and he was responding. Giving of himself more and more each time he hit Send, as was I.
In this chat room, we had 'mutual friends'. Other people that regularly chatted and with whom shared a bond with us. We knew each other's names, who had kids, each other's love lives, or lack thereof, and who was allergic to what. A kinship was born in this chat room, but all of that was irrelevant as I asked this other chatter, "What's his phone number?" I asked, he gave. I called him that night.
Our phone conversation was great. I was attracted immediately by his voice. He was feeling the same way about mine. But there had to be more, right? There just has to be! I was thirsting for more information from him. I simply wanted to know everything about this man. We had seen each other's pictures already, sent through the wonderful e-mail services. Our eyes glanced upon each other's pictures and saw a promising something there. We liked each other at this point. Promises to call each other were made, and more e-mails were sent.
Finally, we fell in love. Just like that. Fell. Head over heels. And I can say this, without hesitation, that I fall in love with this man more and more every day. When I hear his voice, BAM, I fall in love again. When I look into his eyes, BAM, I'm in love again. Anything this man does equates to pure, sweetened love for me. Of course, there's a loop hole. Isn't there always? We are long distance. I represent the East Coast, and he the West. Was it possible, is it possible? Yes and yes. We talked endlessly about this. Tip toed around the fact that it would be hard, but took into the account that it wouldn't be easy. Pored over every obstacle that would stand in our way, and would eventually test us and our strength, had we gotten together.
We talked about our wants, our needs, our desires at this time. What we wanted from each other, and how we could go about it. We knew all we wanted was to be together, but could we handle it? Were we ready to take on something so rough? We have. Overcoming the distance, the money issues, the conversation issues, well, it hasn't been easy. But we don't think any relationship is a bed of roses. We take the good, and the bad, and we still love each other.
Through this love we have grown stronger. We have learned from each other. We have taken our relationship beyond the levels of just something we got 'off the internet'.
Meeting was like a dream. I was absolutely on pins and needles. Seeing him though, only reinstated my previous feelings I had felt for him, and made them that much stronger. Love at first sight? Oh, it happened alright. We have shared so many times together. His presence completes me. The lost piece to my puzzle. The one thing that I can hold onto in this world. The one relationship I have ever felt love from. He loves me. Plain and simple. With my flaws and all. He sees the good in me, and I can see it in him. I have found my true connection. Without him, I'd simply be searching for something that couldn't give me what he gives me. It would only be false, and I know this to be of truth, because for once in my life, my heart feels what my head does, and their both in sync. I'm loving every minute of it.
When you hear the proverbial warnings of finding anything reliable on the internet, scoff away the remarks. It can happen, it has happened. When you hear the woes of love tales gone sour, just know that love is alive. It is all around us, and it will find you when you least expect it. And in the last place you would ever think of finding it.
True Love Was Ours Then We Lost It
SEND REAL TIME STORIES TOEMAIL :: SIRIWORDS@GMAIL.COM
Almost 3 yrs ago I let my true love go, not because I didn't love him, but because at the time I thought it was the right thing to do. You may have all heard of my story - (Lessons in true love sometimes means letting go)? Well I still think of him very much and hurt from the lack of his touch and from the songs he would sing to me.
This Man was very much In love with me. Every time we were with each other he would give me his fullest attention and I would give him mine in return. Everytime we were apart we would feel that crazy feeling until we would be wrapped up in each others arms again. Then the day came that we would say "so-long"... it was not a bad break-up or anything, it was a heartfelt one, meaning that we parted with broken hearts because we were still so much In love with each other He was needed by his children who lived thousands of miles away from me and I have children here where they needed to be at the time because their father was here too, (not living with me). I had no choice but to stay, at least that’s what I thought at the time.
After Rick had left I waited for a call or an email, anything that would let me know he was safe, but I never received anything from him for a long time. I started thinking, was it only me hurting as bad as it seemed? I would talk to his friend Jay and ask, "has he heard from Rick?", 'yes! and he is doing fine.'
I was so hurt that he would call Jay and not me because I thought he would be more concerned about me and how I was getting on with my life.
I kept getting news from Jay about what Rick was doing but still no word, then I heard that Rick found himself a lady!
My heart broke.
After 6 months I came to terms with it - at least I thought I come to terms that it was over. I had started leaning on my best 'online - male friend, Ken'. We started getting serious about each other after a few months, maybe because at the time we were just two lonely people. In the meantime things were getting really bad at home, my ex was harassing me and I started getting concerned for my childs mental health, and my own, so I did what I thought at the time was best for us. I moved to another state which gave my Daughter an advantage because her grades went up and she had many dreams fulfilled and Ken treated me good but seemed always frustrated with me because he is so set in his ways ( which he never showed me online, but not in a bad way, just a snobbish kind of way at times).
During some times Ken is very good to me and I do Love him. After being here a few months Rick showed up online and we started talking as friends even now deep down I was upset with him but I pretended to be over him.
These are the childish things all of us do sometimes in life I guess, but a year later we started opening up again. Rick now lives with another woman and he loves her very much they have even just completed upon a home they bought to live in and his children have given him a lot of grief since his return.
A few days ago he told me how special I was and told me he was still in love with me and missed me so much. He told me he was always proud to be by my side and told me he thought of me often and that I was beautiful and missed how we would write songs together and sing. He even told me I was the Best woman he has ever been with. And I told him I still loved him too and missed him with all my heart and all my soul but we have a problem now and we both are very caring to people around us. See now we have other partners and we don't have the heart to hurt them because for one I know Ken has been hurt 3 times in his life by women leaving him for another man and I am not sure of Rick's girlfriend's past relations but I do see the pain in Ken's eyes still from his heartbreaks and I won't be the cause of another. So now I have to live once again with this yearning inside me and the need to be with Rick because I ca't leave Ken without him wanting me to go himself. All I can say is I love Ken very much and I thank him for taking my child and me into his life and sheltering us from the pain I felt when I let Rick go and for saving me from the mental abuse that my ex was throwing at me and saving my childs future because she is graduating this year with High grades compared to the failing grade she had where we once lived, also for treating my daughter like his on I do Thank Ken very much so. But I also want to thank Rick for letting me experience true love because he did a lot for me too and to let the whole world know I still am very much I n love with him and no matter how hard I try I will carry him inside my heart till the day I die because I want so bad to be with him but I can't do that to Ken and he surely can't do that to his Lady either. Aching Inside Always, M
This Man was very much In love with me. Every time we were with each other he would give me his fullest attention and I would give him mine in return. Everytime we were apart we would feel that crazy feeling until we would be wrapped up in each others arms again. Then the day came that we would say "so-long"... it was not a bad break-up or anything, it was a heartfelt one, meaning that we parted with broken hearts because we were still so much In love with each other He was needed by his children who lived thousands of miles away from me and I have children here where they needed to be at the time because their father was here too, (not living with me). I had no choice but to stay, at least that’s what I thought at the time.
After Rick had left I waited for a call or an email, anything that would let me know he was safe, but I never received anything from him for a long time. I started thinking, was it only me hurting as bad as it seemed? I would talk to his friend Jay and ask, "has he heard from Rick?", 'yes! and he is doing fine.'
I was so hurt that he would call Jay and not me because I thought he would be more concerned about me and how I was getting on with my life.
I kept getting news from Jay about what Rick was doing but still no word, then I heard that Rick found himself a lady!
My heart broke.
After 6 months I came to terms with it - at least I thought I come to terms that it was over. I had started leaning on my best 'online - male friend, Ken'. We started getting serious about each other after a few months, maybe because at the time we were just two lonely people. In the meantime things were getting really bad at home, my ex was harassing me and I started getting concerned for my childs mental health, and my own, so I did what I thought at the time was best for us. I moved to another state which gave my Daughter an advantage because her grades went up and she had many dreams fulfilled and Ken treated me good but seemed always frustrated with me because he is so set in his ways ( which he never showed me online, but not in a bad way, just a snobbish kind of way at times).
During some times Ken is very good to me and I do Love him. After being here a few months Rick showed up online and we started talking as friends even now deep down I was upset with him but I pretended to be over him.
These are the childish things all of us do sometimes in life I guess, but a year later we started opening up again. Rick now lives with another woman and he loves her very much they have even just completed upon a home they bought to live in and his children have given him a lot of grief since his return.
A few days ago he told me how special I was and told me he was still in love with me and missed me so much. He told me he was always proud to be by my side and told me he thought of me often and that I was beautiful and missed how we would write songs together and sing. He even told me I was the Best woman he has ever been with. And I told him I still loved him too and missed him with all my heart and all my soul but we have a problem now and we both are very caring to people around us. See now we have other partners and we don't have the heart to hurt them because for one I know Ken has been hurt 3 times in his life by women leaving him for another man and I am not sure of Rick's girlfriend's past relations but I do see the pain in Ken's eyes still from his heartbreaks and I won't be the cause of another. So now I have to live once again with this yearning inside me and the need to be with Rick because I ca't leave Ken without him wanting me to go himself. All I can say is I love Ken very much and I thank him for taking my child and me into his life and sheltering us from the pain I felt when I let Rick go and for saving me from the mental abuse that my ex was throwing at me and saving my childs future because she is graduating this year with High grades compared to the failing grade she had where we once lived, also for treating my daughter like his on I do Thank Ken very much so. But I also want to thank Rick for letting me experience true love because he did a lot for me too and to let the whole world know I still am very much I n love with him and no matter how hard I try I will carry him inside my heart till the day I die because I want so bad to be with him but I can't do that to Ken and he surely can't do that to his Lady either. Aching Inside Always, M
REAL LOVE STORY 1
SEND REAL TIME STORIES TOEMAIL :: SIRIWORDS@GMAIL.COM
I met him in the old school which i used to go to. at the time he was dating my friend. we didn't talk much. two years later i see him in the hall way walking alone i know he saw me, but we just kept walking. at lunch later on that day we see each other and we decide to talk. i invite him to a party I'm supposed to be in, and he accompanies me. we walk in hand-in-hand and i think it's sweet that i can have a friend like him. after that one party i get invited to a wedding and of course he comes with me. it's not until the after party that he tells me that he likes me and would like to be more than just friends. we start to date. everything goes well. he calls me up on day and is crying the caller-id says "pay phone" he sounds crazy and is talking about committing suicide. i yell to him not to do it but he just doesn't understand. he says he wants to fall asleep on the train tracks, an instant death he calls it. i stay all night on the phone with him and tell him that his life is worth living for. i tell him i love him and I hear those same words come from his mouth I can't believe what is happening, everything is happening so fast. I tell him to go home and to call me from there. 24 min. later I get a phone call, it's him. He's safe at home. Three weeks pass by and he finally thanks me. he tells me he was going through some hard times and his father had just told him he was a mistake. he said it's been going on for 10 years, and he thanks me again, crying and pleading to me that if i wasn't there for him that night he could of been on the front page of the local newspaper. it's been 5 months since that incident and I still tell him I love him. And it never fails; he always tells me back.
From what I see, I am nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing has happened to me my whole life that hasn't happened to nearly everybody else on this planet. Except that I met Brian. Being in his arms were some of the happiest times I had ever experienced. I could look deep into his eyes and be enchanted forever. Being with him changed my soul. I felt his love prying apart the hard shell of shyness that encircled me. His trust, his love and his support for me lifted me from the earth and gently sent me into the clouds. He cast off the chains I had given myself. Through him I learned a new insight about the world. It was as if a tall, dark mountain had stood in front of me, and out of nowhere, he provided the wings to fly over it. We met at my work. We started dating each other and seeing more and more of each other every day, not knowing that we were falling in love. Soon we became a couple. Our relationship was everything it should have been, almost as if our time together had been written for a novel. We grew closer and closer during the school year. We would go to the movies, go out to eat, go shopping and most of all be with each other for a long time. I could hardly sleep at night, just anticipating the next time I would see him and the upcoming weekend we would be together. I shared everything with him, even things I kept from my family and my best friend. Realization From what I see, I am nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing has happened to me my whole life that hasn't happened to nearly everybody else on this planet. Except that I met Brian. Being in his arms were some of the happiest times I had ever experienced. I could look deep into his eyes and be enchanted forever. Being with him changed my soul. I felt his love prying apart the hard shell of shyness that encircled me. His trust, his love and his support for me lifted me from the earth and gently sent me into the clouds. He cast off the chains I had given myself. Through him I learned a new insight about the world. It was as if a tall, dark mountain had stood in front of me, and out of nowhere, he provided the wings to fly over it. We met at my work. We started dating each other and seeing more and more of each other every day, not knowing that we were falling in love. Soon we became a couple. Our relationship was everything it should have been, almost as if our time together had been written for a novel. We grew closer and closer during the school year. We would go to the movies, go out to eat, go shopping and most of all be with each other for a long time. I could hardly sleep at night, just anticipating the next time I would see him and the upcoming weekend we would be together. I shared everything with him, even things I kept from my family and my best friend. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Just like every other day, I went to school, saw Brian and came home. I was in my own little world, living a fairytale life, when my parents called me in their room, and told my brother to go outside to watch T.V. "Sit down Minal." My dad said, with a disappointment in his voice. I looked at my mother mother. We exchanged a bazaar look. My parents had found a picture of Brian and I. His arm was around me in the picture. We were sitting right next to each other. From where I come from girls are not even allowed to have guy friends. In our culture we have arrange marriages. You first get married and then learn to fall in love. Love before marriage is forbidden. We have to marry someone who is Indian, not only that but he/she must be from the same cast as you are, or the society doesn't accept you. I saw my parents holding the picture that they had found in my purse. My heart was beating faster by the seconds. I didn't know what to say. "Who is this guy? Why is his arm around you? Where did you meet him? How far have you gone with him? Are you pregnant?" My parents started asking questions, and they jumped to conclusions without knowing the full facts. The fact that Brian is white made them even angrier with me. "How could you do this to us? You let us down. You were our pride." My mother said, with tears in her eyes. I hurt them. I lied to them, just like every other time I had, when I went to go see him. "Mom, I am NOT pregnant. I wouldn't do anything to let you guys down. I met him at Shannon's birthday party, and I took a picture with him." They were still upset with me, for the fact that I had taken a picture with a guy. I had let them down. My father raised his voice, "Do you know what this means? Do you know what would happen if anyone of our relatives were to find out about this? I would be kicked out of this society. Do you know what my friends and relatives think about you?" They thought that I was this perfect Indian girl, who doesn't go to the parties, doesn't associate with guys, and believes in Hinduism. It really hurt me when my mother said that I had let them down. While ripping the picture into thousand pieces, my mother said, "This is it. It's going to end right here. We have given you too much freedom. No more hanging out with friends! No phone calls! Your friends are not Indian and they are bad influence on you. Go to school and work, and stay home, till we find a nice husband for you. Now go to bed!" They took away all my privileges after that. I apologized and promised them that I would not do anything to let them down ever again. I couldn't sleep at night. I cried the whole night. My world had turned upside down. I kept thinking about everything that had just happened. I realized that our cultures differed. There was no way that our Indian society would accept Brian and I together. No matter how much I loved him, it didn't matter. He is white and by Bhagvat Gita (Indian Bible) I am not allowed to be with someone who is not Indian. I couldn't do this to him or my parents. I realized that I am Indian and I always will be, there was nothing I could have done to change that, and I didn't have the strength to hurt my parents again. I knew I had to sacrifice my love for my parents' happiness. The following day, I went to Brian's house, and told him what had happened. I also told him that my parents would never accept him in my life. I broke up with him. The words wouldn't come out of my mouth; I had to force them out of me. We said good-bye to each other. Tears came out of my eyes. He dropped me off at work. I just sat outside by my car and cried for about 2 hours. "How could I let him just walk out of my life?" I asked myself. Nothing felt right. I felt so empty inside. I couldn't take it. I knew I wanted to see him one last time. I was hurting. I got in the car. I drove there as fast as possible. I knocked on the door. No one answered. I let myself in. He wasn't in his room; I checked every room in the house. Finally, I saw him sitting outside by the swimming pool, with a confused look on him face. He looked deeply hurt. I couldn't do this to him. I went running in the backyard. I told him to just hold me. When he held me, it felt so right and safe in his arms. I didn't want to let him go. I told him I couldn't live with out him, and I asked him to take me back in his life. Without hesitating, Brian said "My doors will always be open for you. " I told him that the reason I had broken up with him was because I didn't want to hurt him later down in the road. "By God, I love you Brian. But later down in the road if we get serious, I can't be with you. I have to marry the person whom my parents pick out for me." I said, with tears in my eyes. I had told Brian about the situation when we first started seeing each other, but I didn't know that it would actually come to this point. Brian held my face and said, " I knew what I was getting myself into, when I first met you. You still have few years before your parents marry you off. Maybe you will change your mind by then." All I knew was that I needed him in my life, and I was willing to go through anything to be with him. I couldn't loose him at any cost. We have been together for nine months. We have our ups and downs. Sometimes we fight and don't get along, for us that's right and sometimes it's wrong, but in our hearts we both know that we'll always love each other. Ever since that day my parents haven't found anything. Every day I pray to God, I ask him to help me make the right decisions in life. I ask him to give me strength and courage to stand up for myself, and most of all I ask him to help me not to hurt the people that I love and care for the most.
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